Category: Uncategorized

Proof that Salad Cancels Out Bacon


Here is someone after my fat laden heart.

365 Days of Bacon

The rumors you’ve been hearing. They’re true.

Salad cancels out bacon. 

Let me explain.

The Salad-Cancels-Out-Bacon Rule

This logic is derived from a spectrum of proven theories, derived as follows, in a highly scien-matical, derive-atory way:

1. First, we establish that the ratio of bacon to salad is the same, that is:

bacon:salad = true

We can now proceed in applying the laws of cross-multiplication.

2. In particular, we make use of the cross-cancellation laws, such that:
bacon/salad * salad/bacon = 1

3. Because we slash-ed-ed both the bacon andsalad factors like they’re imaginary, we’re obligated to multiply our remainder by i (the infamous “imaginary number”). Like this:

      1 * i 

4. And i, being imaginary and all, stands for nothing tangible, therefore:
i = 0   carried through as   1 *…

5. As everyone knows, anything multiplied by zero = 0  therefore expressed…

View original post 54 more words


Chef Glenn Smith

The pancakes above is not in the plan anymore.

Yes it has finely happened, I have let my Crossfit habit mingle with my professional life and it is about time. I have never been one of those guys that was or ever thought  would become a gym rat, I’m not a rat more like a crack habit. But over the last two years I have been doing Crossfit- first at Roaring Fork Crossfit under the suggestion of my good friends Mark Fisher and Lari Goode and now at Broadway Crossfit and South Denver X-Fit. Why this is relevant is that Mark and Lari are food people, Mark is a Chef and Lari runs the world. Their restaurants are six89 Main, Phat Thai and The Pullman, which I helped designed and built.

Both of them are and always have been very fit, truth be told, most people in…

View original post 382 more words

Continue reading

Just answer the question!!!


4e782eb8e03446228c0c4f05767f2254-survey-pen-flipper

Dear Everybody!

I am working on a new project and I would LOVE your input. I have created a short survey about the current food world and I need some answers. Would you please take a moment and click the link below and fill it out for me. I would very much appreciate it.

Trust me, It is for the betterment of the world. Glenn’s food world survey.

Thanks in advance

Glenn

If you have an extra $90,000…I got something for you!


I have a love for simple, perfect machines. This 1940’s stapler for example;

Image

This little machine of simplicity is designed to do only one thing, it is meant to attach 2 or more piece of paper together and that is about it, But is it? By the nature of its design It has also become a very attractive object. By just looking at it, it tells you of an era, it has a story a soul. It represents the beginning of the “machine age”. You can just tell that it will weigh something, it freaking heavy! It does not look as if it was built for a profit margin but as something that will last the test of time.

When I look at motorcycles or bicycles, I look for the same qualities that I find in this stapler.

Just recently I have been on Ebay scanning the old motorcycles and stumbled across this little gem, A 1936 DKW Factory works racer (current bid of $75,000 at the time of the writing of this article) and it is so worth it. It tells you a story just sitting there!  Look below;

Image

This bike is SO out of my budget, but a boy can dream. Here is the link to the Ebay listing.

I like art, paintings, sculpture and so on, But THIS to me surpasses any painting I have ever admired. We are all aware of the old adage “form follows function” but this example needs to be reclassified as “function follows beauty”, That is a rarity.

I am interestes in what your favorite objects of desire might be? Please comment in the comment section, I look forward to seeing your lusts

Glenn

Check out my vintage motorcycle blog at Retrolust.me

How To See The World Through Trout Colored Glasses.


Image

It’s has been just a week since my last fly fishing article was posted online and to my surprise, it received a ton of traffic. Thank you for reading and sharing it with your friends.

Well guess what? Taylor Creek Fly Shop has just posted another one of my articles on their blog, I could not be more honored.

The article is called “The City Fishing Guide”, it is just a brief account of a geographically misplaced Fly Fishing guide trying to make connections in a big city. Call it a treasure hunt if you will.

Here is a taste: “…….I had to get a fix. So I went down to South Platte River right here in downtown Denver and found an eddy behind a trashed grocery cart freshly thrown into the river. I took a number of big inhales through my nose to get a whiff of the fresh smog from a nearby factory to help transport me back to the place that I love. To my surprise it didn’t work. But I was still optimistic.”

I will be posting the entire article here in just a few days. Please check it out on their blog and leave me a comment of your thoughts and if you have had any similar experiences, I would enjoy hearing your stories.

Those of us that would prefer to hear the river report instead of a progress report NEED to stick together.

Please hit the ‘follow’ button, I appreciate you support and you will be the first to catch the freshest stories.

Thank you again,

Glenn Smith

Top Ten Survival Tips for a Broke Fly Fishing Guide Living in an Expensive Place.


IMG_2024

(This is an article I wrote for Taylor Creek Fly shop which I was a professional guide for 18 years.I also submitted to The Drake Magazine, I think it’s pretty good. Let me know your thoughts.)

Aspen. The mere whispering of the word congers up images of Paris Hilton, Man-Furs, Range Rovers and million dollar homes. And for the most part, that would be 100 % accurate. But Aspen, like any mountain resort town, is also filled with mountains and rivers that provide great outdoor activities. Many wealthy people enjoy that – as a matter of fact, most people enjoy that. Unfortunately, that “access” to the great outdoors, indirectly costs money.

You have to find a creative way to live in one of the most expensive places in the U.S.. Common sense told me that since I loved the outdoors and mastering legendary trout waters like the Frying Pan, Roaring Fork and the Colorado, becoming a professional fly fishing guide for a living was an obvious choice. But we guides are dealt a difficult set of cards.

First card: Getting on the shop roster is not always an easy task, even if you do happen to be one of the best anglers in the valley. I have been a guide with Taylor Creek Fly Shop in Basalt for the last 18+ years and I only landed it because a) I got a good referral from a buddy that was a guide there, b) I spent so much money there on new rods, flies and every other thing I needed to “fish properly” (besides, I felt it gave me a bit of credibility) and c) I was able to “talk the talk” and “walk the walk”.

Second card: You need money both for a place to live and so you can eat. This lifestyle can be especially difficult if you are on the bottom of the guide ladder. It’s only when the senior guides are not available when you get the trip. Being the low man on the totem pole, you have to hope for a last minute booked trip or wait by the phone all day hoping you’re next on the list to call. The lack of consistent last minute trips or senior guides calling in sick or being on vacation, can lead to financial stress and inconsistent diet. The only known consistency for a guide is understanding that the last minute bookers are not typically the seasoned fishermen you hope for. And chances are, these people will have recently watched “The Movie” and now they want their spoiled 5 year old daughter and disinterested 14 year old son to experience what catching a 20 inch rainbow is like – “just like the one Brad Pitt caught in A River Runs Through It” while yelling across the river, “You haven’t caught one yet?” only ten minutes after hitting the water.

But I digress. What I am trying to say is that guides need money. So I’d like to share with you my ten survival tips on how to live, eat and breathe fly fishing as a professional guide when you are broke and have to make it in an expensive area.

Tip # 1: Be nice, polite and humble. Nothing will keep you from getting trips or moving up the ranks more than arrogance. Chances are, you are not the greatest fisherman alive and you didn’t really “land a hundred” or “get the biggest cut-bow in the Pan”. The fact is, the guides in “real” fly shops are ALL great fisherman. The best thing you can do is go fishing with the senior guides and prove you know how to fish. But most importantly, be cool about it! This will pay off in spades. You are more likely to be the first one asked to accompany the senior guide on group trips. That equals no bottom of the totem pole which means more money.

Tip #2: Top Ramen is not all that bad. Really. Throw in some fresh vegetables and soy sauce and you’re golden.

Tip #3: Having a truck is helpful. It provides a comfortable ride for your clients as well as a great place to sleep. The forest service provides camp areas for up to 10 days or more. Not only is it a practical mode of transportation and lodging, but that it just makes for a good story when you decide to give up guiding in order to finally use your Political Science degree.

Tip # 4: Beer is not food. Once you get a couple of trips and you make your first tip above and beyond your guide fee, try not to turn that extra money into a series of cocktails for the boys. You need that money. It won’t be there in a few months. (Note to the veteran guides: hang around the new guides, they’re rookie enough to always be buying! By doing so, you can keep your tips.)

Tip #5: Network and always carry business cards. This is a must. Anybody on the river that isn’t already a fishing guide, wants to be. That instantly makes you the most envied and the coolest person they know. Use that to your advantage. Your perceived coolness, especially if you make the client think they caught that brown all on their own, equated to referrals, shop status and money. Don’t be a slacker trout bum, it’s still abusiness. Always be selling (yourself)!

Tip #6: Remember, the rich are different. Embrace it. It is likely that a fleet of Range Rovers show up and they all step out with enough gear to stock a new shop. That doesn’t mean a thing. The fish don’t care and nor should you. They’re people – just like you (but with a lot more money). There’s no need to suck up. Treat them like you want to be treated and, trust me, you will be rewarded by either a great tip or a new regular repeat client.

Tip# 7: Practice the three “T’s” – Teach, Therapy, and Tolerance. Being a great guide is not how good of a fisherman you are (although it helps), it’s more about how well you understand your client. I did a trip one year with a client that I had guided a few times before. This trip she wanted to fish a little bit, but what she really wanted to do was to learn how to drive a stick shift. So our day was planned out where we fished for an hour, teach her how to drive my stick shifted-car for three hours, then fish again for an hour. She was a client for years. She booked consistently and always tipped well but what I found the most rewarding was never knowing exactly what we were going to do the day I was fishing with her.

Tip#8: Don’t sleep with any of your clients (see fishing above). Nothing good can come from this. Worst of all, you have turned a paying client into a non-paying client with “benefits”. And if it turns bad, like it always will, and their husband or wife finds out, there goes all of their referred client friends and any potential for new referrals from them.

Tip# 9: Have another skill. It can be anything from tuning skis to bartending to instructing snowboarders to practicing law. Also, being a trust funder, salt-water fly guide, or a chef, will work. It is not only important to have a plan, but as a fly guide in a touristic, seasonal, resort destination, with unpredictable run-off and conditions, you must also have a Plan B, and C all the way up to Z. Sure, some people can and do make it as a full time guide, but only if you are willing to budget. Unfortunately, most guides are fiscally inept and easily led astray by being surrounded by pro-deals and new gear in the shop – there is always that new reel or new 9-weight rod you might need for that Christmas Island trip you’ve been saving up for. This one I know from experience.

Tip # 10: If you really love fly-fishing, you love the river and everything it offers. Remember that you weren’t born an expert fly fisherman and your clients want to learn from you. You’re on the right path. It’s not hard to survive if you’re smart about it.

So if your ambition is to become a wealthy, full-time fly fishing guide, traveling around the globe and living the lifestyle, go for it. The fact is, I live that life style. I may not wear Man-Fur or have enough money to date Paris Hilton, but I am rich in experience and I have made a bank load of friends. The only cash I have is a CD in my truck of Johnny Cash, Folsom Prison Blues. To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Glenn Smith

Somebody Famous Ate My Salad.


IMG_2243

Just like most people in the food world, I am taken in by the car wrecks and the killers of the culinary arts world. I’m speaking of the competition cooking shows. It doesn’t really matter which one specifically, just any of them that contains a screaming british guy or chefs without hair.

It may be a bold statement but I have my reasons. I will be the first to admit that I had a major hard-on when the first Top Chef show was aired way back in the day. It had everything. Hack cooks, great cooks, Padma, challenges, real cooking situations, new ideas and some really bad ones. I remember you could sit and watch the show and actually say “I’ve worked with a dude like that” or, in my case ,”I’ve work with that dude” and claim rightly, “and he sucks!”. I wanted to be a contestant. But now the purity has turned on these shows.

I was watching TV the other night in a hotel and Master Chef or something like that was on and Gordon Ramsey was, as always, involved. The contestants were given the challenge of recreating a dish from another chef restaurant. OK, not a bad test but here is the rub. The dish was described as “this is the dish President Obama ordered ” as if it gave the dish more credibility. WHO GIVES A SHIT?!  This is nothing about Obama, it’s about name dropping and creating pointless self promotion for a chef to feel good about himself because someone of importance ate his or her dish.

Call me old school, but isn’t presenting a perfect dish reserved for ALL of your customers? Really, do you change how you cook or put more effort into a dish that you are serving to a celebrity than you would for your tried and true clientele? If you do, you’re a dick and a suck up.

I have never been a big fan of the restaurants that put up pictures of the famous people that they fed. It seems…..cliche’. The ONLY restaurants that can get away with it are 60 years old or older with an owner that looks like he belongs on the Sopranos or Goodfellas and that’s about it. That’s when it’s cool…period.

I was reading our local Alt mag the other day which comes out weekly called The Westword. They cover all of the happenings in music, culture, entertainment and food. I grab it every week to see what’s up and to read the food section. They usually do restaurant reviews, which is pretty much always the same (hated it, loved it, I slept with the chef, would have tasted better if it was free) and then a short Q and A with a local chef. It can be interesting (until the terms ‘fresh’ and ‘local’ get used too much) but it always bugs the hell out of me when they ask ” So…what celebrities have you cooked for?” or something along those lines. Why?  What if he said Geets Romo?  Would you care? I bet not.

My question is simple. What makes any celebrity endorsement a key to a chef’s ability? Does Brad Pitt have a more sophisticated palette than you? Is VP Joe Biden more educated in how a piece of Ahi should be sliced? Why should they get preferential treatment because they made a good movie or that one hit on the radio? I would love to hear Mr. Ramsey say once, “This dish is the exact dish chef fill in the blank has built his reputation on. Can you duplicate this?”

This will never happen so I now placate my TV addiction with The Walking Dead…at least it’s realistic.